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Saturday, November 20, 2004 four more dayys...!!!i have a feeling God is tellin me that i have not done well......shifted the family occasion forward to today so i will be saved the embarrassment...siggh.....bin listening to my prerogative by britney spears..really nice....here are the lyrics....
People can take everything away from youBut they can never take away your truthBut the question is..Can you handle mine?They say I'm crazyI really don't careThat's my prerogativeThey say I'm nastyBut I don't give a damnGetting boys is how I liveSome ask me questionsWhy am I so real?But they don't understand meI really don't know the dealAbout my sisterTrying hard to make it rightNot long ago before I won this fightEverybody's talkin' all this stuff about meWhy don't they just let me live? (tell me why)I don't need permissionMake my own decisions (oh)That's my prerogative That's my prerogative[It's my prerogative]Its the way that I wanna live[It's my prerogative]They can't tell me what to do...Don't get me wrongI'm really not soupedEgo trips is not my thingAll these strange relationshipsIt really gets me downSee nothing wrongSpread myself aroundEverybody's talkin' all this stuff about meWhy don't they just let me live? (tell me why)I don't need permissionMake my own decisions (oh)That's my prerogative That's my prerogative Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about meWhy don't they just let me live? (tell me why)I don't need permissionMake my own decisions (oh)That's my prerogative That's my prerogative Its the way that I wanna live[It's my prerogative]They can't tell me what to do...Why can't I live my life?Without all of the things that people say?Ohh...[Shout]Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about meWhy don't they just let me live? (tell me why)I don't need permissionMake my own decisions (oh)That's my prerogative (They Say I'm crazy) Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about meWhy don't they just let me live? (tell me why)(they say I'm nasty)I don't need permissionMake my own decisions(ahhh)That's my prerogative [That's my prerogative] wah ha ha....feel like cryin.......it only seemed like yesterday i was taking the killer science paper....life is full of surprises...i thought i was able to score for my science since it was my best sub....but no.....chinese was tough......science was tough.....maths was pretty chicken....and english section a was a little tough...so was the comprehension......WAH I AM GONNA DIE MAN SO MANY THINGS I DUNNO..........why??why?? ahem....fine...if i get into my dream school i promise to do well for all subjects...score al a1's.....i promise...any0ne is welcomed to kill me.... [Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 10:52 AM.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004 Story of a Lost Girl: Her eyes were like a Well of Tears
She tossed and turned in bed, asleep, with beads of perspiration starting to form on her head as the past years of her life started to drift in front of her, the ghost like images brought back nostalgia, starting when she was only at the age of six… She found herself standing in front of the house she used to live in, the surroundings in the colour of dull black and white. She wearily pushed open the gate, and slowly stepped into the porch where the old car stood proud, with a glossy coat of paint and varnish on it. She looked into the wooden framed window which was rubbed smooth by sand paper. There she saw her six year old self, sitting by the coffee table with a box of colour pencils nestled by her, frantically trying to draw and colour a picture she drew of her family. As tears started to well up in her eyes, she heard the crunch of rocks behind her. She swiveled her body around and saw her parents step out of the old volks wagen. She gazed fondly at them, with her big prominent eyes filled to the brim with tears. Her mother had the same looks, but though everything was in black and white, she still saw her mother’s radiant face glow. This mother shone with love for her children, providing the best education and giving endless love to them. Next, her father came into her vision. He already had a firm built by then. Though forty years of age, he still had the boyish look his primary and secondary school had given to him. Behind those pair of spectacles, the girl saw a familiar pair of eyes, the pair of eyes she had. Big, wise, prominent, and dominent. They were chattering away about dinner that night, smiles pricking up at the both edges of their mouth. Just then, she heard the metal grill open. She turned her head and saw her six year old self running out greeting both of them with a hug. By then the girl had tears streaming from her eyes and running onto her pink, good complexioned face. The six year old gave her parents the drawing she had meticulously worked on for the past hour. Immediately, both parents faces had shone with joy and pride. Her nine year old brother stepped out and welcomed them home with a great bear hug. The family looked so good reunited after a hard day’s work. She watched her family step back into the house locking her out. She looked into the living area and saw everything was as cosy and warm as ever. Then everything began to spin rapidly around her, dissolving into space and reforming itself. She was in another year, the year, of 2000. She was the age of eight by then. There she stood, looking at the eight year old image formed in front of her. The eight year old was scribbling away hastily on a math work book , glancing at the clock from time to time. Then she heard her mother shouting from her bedroom “ I want that assessment completed in fifteen minutes Su-Lyn!”. Tears were starting to streak the eight year old’s face. The girl walked forward hearing her eight year old self muttering with grief “ Oh no, I still have three full pages to do! I should have played with old Smally just now!” a broad smile lit the girl’s face as she remembered her rabbit Smally. But the sight of her pitiful eight year old self made her want to burst with unhappiness. Her smile decreased by a few molars. She strode out of the room walking down the carpeted grey steps and into the back yard where she saw her old rabbit grazing on the last of leaves of her mother’s old pandan plant. A sweet smile played around her mouth as she saw it hopping here and there. Out of habbit, she strode over to the food box, forgetting where she was. As she tried to grab the box of rabbit feed, the box just slid through her fingers like water. She tried again but it slid like liquid through her fingers. As the rabbit hopped gaily towards her, it unknowingly passed through her foot. She bent down trying to stroke and feel the silk-smooth fur of her rabbit but to no avail. Frustrated, she walked back into the house with watery eyes. She saw the family sitting down for dinner once out of the kitchen. The feeling inside her was too much for her to handle, the feeling that wanted her to embrace her parents again. With tears rolling down her cheeks like pearls, she stepped outside into the porch, she remembered how her mother looked like in the year 2026 before she passed away due to cancer. How she along with her siblings and father had carried her coffin out of the chapel, surrounded by weeping souls. She gritted her teeth and shifted her mind out of that occasion she could never forget. She heard the comical laughter of her family and turned around. She grinned mildly after looking at herself. She had not only managed to complete her assignment but score full points. The surroundings around her began to dissolve again and reform itself into her old school. The school which brought back many memories…and she was standing in the year of 2001, the year which she addressed as the “Terror Year”. She realized the surroundings had formed itself into a scene of her old classroom of 3C. She saw the mean old grouce of a Chinese teacher standing in front of her nine year old self, scolding her . She told the sobbing nine year old to write her mother’s phone number down on a piece of paper. She was ignorant of the situation, and why the teacher was scolding her nine year old self. She then saw a group of proud and snobby girls sitting at the back, sniggering, gossiping, and pointing at her nine year old self. She walked over with her fists clenched. She was about to find out what they had been saying behind her back after fifteen years of curiosity. “…I personally saw her crumpling up her piece of paper, you know, the one which we had Chinese spelling on, and throw it away. Just because she scored a “ling dan”( a zero in Chinese) does not give her the right to do so…” The girl was horrified. She had certainly not done that! All she did was to chuck it down her bag and storm home. She did nothing of that sort, what, crumple it and throw it away. She felt angry with her younger self for the first time for not telling the truth. The domineering and fat teacher towered over her, pointing her sausage like fingers at her and screaming at her. Those girls had framed her. The Chinese teacher snatched the piece of paper with the number on it, and dragged her nine year old self from the class room and out. After a few seconds to calm and restrain herself of screaming, she ran out, chasing after the two, accidentally “bumping” into another girl. But instead of knocking over the girl, she just flowed right over her. Her eyes were wide in astonishment but she still ran after those two. The sentence “ What did she do again?” greeted her once she stepped into the staff room. What did she do again?? This teacher was unreasonable. Just because of one mistake, she would send any girl off to the staff room to phone her parents. The dreaded old grouch punched in the numbers to the nine year old’s mothers handphone and started ranting about what she did. The poor nine year old girl hung her head, with her eyes dripping with salty tears. As she watched the past over and over again, tears had started to leak from the corner of her eyes. The surroundings had started to reform again and the girl was back at the class room. Her nine year old self was sitting at her desk, ostrasized by her friends. Then two sweet looking girls walked up to her and comforted her and started chatting. Just then her nine year old self had started to cry. The two girls then noticed that there were slash marks on her arm. The Chinese teacher had walked into the classroom and noticed her. She asked her to see her after class. After class, she brought the girl to the staff room and questioned her about the slash marks. The girl did not dare to say a word but the teacher who had a harsh voice suddenly turned matronly towards the girl. She guessed that her parents had chastised her for the phone call the previous day. She explained to the girl that if she did not inform the parents, she would be called irresponsible. She then took a look at the scratch marks and the girl said in a sad voice, using Chinese “ I really did not throw the paper away, I had it in my bag, Stephanie and her gang had framed me I really did not do it!” the Chinese teacher said in a cold voice that she believed Stephanie.(Stephanie was the teacher’s pet) With her eyes brimming with tears she left the staff room back to class… and the surroundings had started to melt into time again…into the year 2004…. hey pple:P had fun reading?? next chapter coming soon! just need to write..... [Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 5:08 PM.
man! why am i born in this world!!? i wanna migrate to perth now to be with del jie!! studies there are chicken feet......!!!!!!!they are learnin p6 work at the age of 14-15......we?? poor singaporeans....we children.....forgot the meaning of "childhood memories"...next time when i remonize infront of my room i will see my twelve year old self sitting infront of my table quietly tearing while my mother is sitting on my bed browsing through my worksheets...... sighhz...can die....if i dont live through next wednesday(24/11), this is my will.....
all my possesions will go to my sis the meagre amt of money in my savings accounts will be given to my family my TY moose MUST be burried with me i must be cremated i MUST wear my adidas sweater on the day i am cremated my terepin who killed my other terepin has to be entrusted into jer's care.... my mighty beans collection will go to..... to.....jer... i wish to be cremated with a poster of WON BIN.... the rest of my will is.....is...some where in my head..... i have just written my will....i guess once this is posted....people will start to hire assasins to try to kill me....go ahead....*sob sob*...id rather not live till wednesday.... can you believe it...?? my friends fren's mother is working at MOE....she says that in the whole of singapore...only one person scored an a* for science....and they added 10 marks to everyone's score.... sigh...i have a bad feelin abt this.....they say that 20% + still failed....sighh..... i still dont see any assasin.... [Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 2:44 PM.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004 wah....oh no....!! i just told that nic guy that delcyn likes him....bleh...shes gonna slaughter me.... i am sorry.....! i was so wu liao...it was a slip of the finger...... :P........yea....so...DONT KILL ME!! haha.......i am so sad....next wednesday is my death day.... i am collecting my psle results...as usual.....i am gonna score badly....wah hah hah....i dont wanna live anymore...... i wont live to see daylight anymore......
so how?? am i supposed to survive pressure or what?? if i score badly and go on holiday i am gonna be a laffing stock and i cant enjoy my japan trip.......(bet no one is reading this....)...sighz...... if i can score a 260+ can already....cos i can beat my bro :P....so as usual...i am sitting infront of my com sulking at my blog.....(like now)...grumbling away....when no one will read this.....they only read the chatter box......WAH HAH HAHA....wo bu xiang zai huo xia qu le......i am so dead....first del jie will kill me...then the psle results will kill me harder..... bleh..... gimme a reason to die i and i will!! ha ha ha.....!! i so sian..... okay....okay....i shall only kill myself if i get horrible results....so now...i will just enjoy the last days of my life...... sigh...i wish my life were a korean drama...full of love and freedom...endless love......haiz....cannot fantasize so much.....later i go crazy...... whoa look at the time! i better get going......wait...before i do...did i mention the prom? oh yes i did...bye [Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 10:16 AM.
Monday, November 15, 2004 i feel so fan....think about alot of stuff makes me wanna hop around....first of all...i put on loads of weight.....and i am so dam fat......second of all......is my psle results.........and when i think of it i feel like eating sumthing....thats how i get fat!! then got a few pple from my class who are totaly 100% bitches.....feel like slapping those hypocrites... they are gossipers........they can ostrasize you and make you go friendless in a blink of an eye......they always think they are popular just becos they hang in a small groupy.............sigh....my life is going upside down....
then my parents say that if i score 240+ its okay....ya right man......they say that cos they say...."we know you have tried your best"...then what abt the last few times for tests and exams....get 80 90+ not enuff for my dad.....always say that i make loads of carelessness ....and i am capable of better work,......and i remember them saying that if i have scored 80 70+ its okay as long as i tried my best......then i score 80 90+ back for them not enough....why you think i am so doubtful.....bet if i get results back.......they will break down........frankly saying only a 260+ is the perfect mark.....sigh...my life is going downhill...... i wanna exercise....!!!!!hey wait....this evening i can go with jer......but then again.....i will eat....and eat...and eat.....hai ya...nevermind...i still go jogging with her.... :P..... i am eating lunch infront of the com....if mummy knew she would slaughter me....first of all...i am not supposed to go online.....second...."the keyboard contains millions of tiny germs you still dare to eat there..." -.-lll well......at least i am using fork and spoon..... yay!! this thursday i am going piano concert with my fav. teacher(ms lim)....who is my piano teacher...... she is the nicest bestest loveliest teacher in the whole world....(other than GOD and Jesus.....).......excited...... the most amusing thing to happen in the piano concert is to take out a cigg-ret lighter and wave it slowly from side to side like what they used to do at pop concerts.......heh..... [Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 4:09 AM.
Sunday, November 14, 2004 woa....jer and i are gonna buy lots of stuff on wednesday....going on shoppin spree....(a mini one) before our movie princess diaries 2.....got the whole itinery planned out....whoo.....
yesterday....my bro and i watched this thai movie....beautiful boxer.....quite funny.....but a little crude...hahaha...its about this born to be a great thai boxer guy who is a transvestite....its quite sad lah...he wanted to become female since young...hahhaa....apply lip gloss...so cute.....its real man.....about this guy called nong toom..... the actor who was a real boxer quite shuai....but i cant stand the way he tries to act like a sisi......hahahahahahaa........ sigh.....its like one week away till the day i collect my results...every time i think of it i feel like crying...i think i am gonna do very badly.....feel so sad....i wanna get into a good school...this confirms the route of my future....i wanna be lawyer!!so must get into good everything....sigh....cos my dad's law firm only takes the best.....drew and napier......yar.... my whole family went east coast park again....to cycle and eat dinner...for once my bro cycled with us for a while instead of going ahead and trying new routes.....dinner was great man....!! pizza.....mmmm.....summore got good music but this talented guitar player....he has a good voice...sad thing is that he is abit short..... [Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 10:10 PM.
Name'>http://www.go-quiz.com/acronym/acronym.php">Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com [Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 2:12 PM.
Saturday, November 13, 2004 bleh....i cant put in a chatter box.......or my blogskin....so delly jie jie is helping me.....siggh....but i feel so pai sei......sigh...thanks....!!i feel so wu liao
[Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 7:05 PM.
urgh finally mgs has a prom........i mean other schools have one like rgs and nanyang..and when we are finally having a prom night.....its abit childish.....bleah....have to dress up like a dectective or a mystery person summore....sigh....summore NO T-SHIRTS AND JEANS allowed....i dont wanna go man unless its at some place nice....i dont think so after the way our principle is all out crazy to make money to build our school....way to go prefects....when we finally have a prom its no better than a p1 thing....i am gonna use a pair of bino's to envy nanyang and rgs from afar.......
[Su-LyN.:]:: caught a falling star on 6:30 PM.
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